Too hard for goodbye
by AndreaShea
Summary: Bella, his Volvo was found in a ditch on fire. There is no way they could have survived." It wasn't true. I couldn't be true. Vampires don't die in car accidents.


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Disclaimer

: I do NOT own any characters in this story. They are owned by Stephenie Meyer.

_Summary:_ Bella is concerned when Edward is suddenly becoming less affectionate and more worriesome one afternoon at school. Soon, she finds out something dreadful has supposedly happened to him and his family, when really it's a coverup. He has left Bella completely stranded with no explanation whatsoever. The only thing remaining of theirs is the piano which he wrote Bella's lullaby. Could this bring Bella closer to the reason of their departure? **EdwardXBella**.

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I**ntro**

As far as I was concerned, my life was nothing but a bleak and boring existence, that is until I met Edward. Edward Anthony Cullen, the boy who I had fallen for, the boy who was my world, and the boy who was a vampire and lusted for my very blood. Funny how things that could hurt you, are things that you are most drawn to. Like for example, telling a child not to do something, like not to touch a button, is only going to make them more anxious in doing so. They're more likely to press the button now than before you gave them warning. I was like the kid with the button when it came to Edward. He could kill me at any given second, steal my blood from my body, and yet I still couldn't take myself away from him.

He told me how critical it was to stay away from him and how dangerous our relationship was, but being the stubborn 17-year-old that I am, I didn't even bother to listen to him. I wanted him to bite me, wanted him to turn me into what he was. I would give anything to be able to spend an eternity with him, and be with him every waking moment. He was my world, my santuary; while I was his own brand of Heroin. He was intoxicating and I wanted more, and i knew for a fact that he felt the same. Shouldn't I be scared of such a creature? Yes, my brain answered, but my heart told me that he was what I wanted, what I always wanted, and who I would always long for. I simply could not live without him, and I hoped that I never would have to. Yet, the things I hope never happened, always have a way of coming true...

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**Chapter 1.**

**Hard times for goodbye.**

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Starting off the day with English Literature was not something I was too fond of. I loved to read, don't get me wrong. I mean how many times have I read Chesapeake and anything written by Shakespeare? I guess the fact that it was the beginning of the day and I wouldn't have my class with Edward till 6th was the reason for this agitation. Sure, standing in the hall with him was quaint, but wasn' t the same as being able to sit with him for a whole 50 minutes. Being in school, that was the best I was going to get anyway. With school rules being quite strict, physical contact such as kissing or cuddling in the hallway were prohibited; automatic detention. Though no teachers really stopped you unless you were up against a wall clearly making out. The thought of seeing people showing so much emotion at school made me queasy. It was nothing I hadn't done, but the fact of it being in public was a little more experienced and provocative than I was used to.

As I heard the bell ring signifying that first period had ended, I jumped up quite excited about being able to see him. Walking out to the hallway, I looked around anxiously looking for Edward. Knowing him he would appear before me silently, scaring me. I was right. As I turned to look to my right I came face to face with my golden-eyed vampire. He was wearing that smug smiled that always seemed to make me melt instead of feel irritated. "Bella, Bella, Bella, looking for me?" He whispered into my hair as he kiss me on the forehead. "Of course not, I was clearly looking for Mike Newton." I said, smirking. He laughed a little and grabbed my hand, "Sure you were. He's looking for you as well." "Why?" I whispered, as he lead me through the crowd of students trying to reach their destinations. I felt as if I was a puppy being walked on a leash by its owner. "Apparently, he wants you to accompany him and the others to a bonfire tonight at La Push." He explained as we stopped in front of my next class, Geometry.

"You should go." He whispered, staring into my eyes. "I don't want to, not if you can't go." I whimpered. He smiled a bit, and exclaimed, "I'm going to hunt with Emmett and Jasper tonight. I couldn't go, even if I wanted to." "Which you don't, " I mumbled staring at my feet. These shoes weren't as cute as I thought they were. He pulled my chin up and looked me straight in the eyes. "I would go anywhere with you, I don't have a choice on the matter though. La Push is not in our territory and it would violate the treaty." He said, grabbing both of my hands. His hands were cold as ice, but then again they always were. Yes, the treaty, the treaty between the vampires and werewolves. Then I looked up, confused. "You want me to go to La Push, where Jacob is?" I asked, looking at him like maybe he hadn't thought this through. "Yes, you'll be with others, nothing will happen." He explained, seriously. He had thought this through. "Just go have fun, I will see you after this class." He kissed my forehead again and before I could respond was already on his way to his destination. "Hmm. This was very odd." I turned to the the door of my geometry class and opened it.

Classes seem to go by as, finally, I reached sixth period. Watching a movie about germ contaminations and e-coli was on the agenda for today. As I sat down, I waited for Edward to come in. Usually he would've walked in with me but he didn't appear after my last class. I figured he was already seated in here. I was wrong. I waited patiently as one by one my classmates walked in, none were Edward. I was confused, where was he? He would've told me if he had gone early for hunting. Finally, easing my worries, he glided through the door. He didn't look like his usual self though. Something was off, something was wrong. When he sat down I looked over to him and smiled, hopeing it would help to ease whatever was clearly bothering him. He didn't return it, he didn't even really look at me. I got a glance, that was it, a glance. This called for immediate note passing. I grabbed the sheet of paper I was going to use for my notes and jotted down the sentence, "What is wrong," sliding the parchment his way. He looked down at it and grabbed his pen.

Before I knew it, the paper was slide back my direction and contained one word.

**Later.**

Later? What the hell? I looked over at him in disbelief. I bit my tongue to keep from shouting out, why later?!, and ending up biting it too hard. I could taste the blood, and I was pretty sure he could smell it. His head shot to me; eyes wide. He gave me a look of concern. To keep from opening my mouth and causing him to have to try harder to control himself, I wrote down, "bit my tongue" and shot the paper across the table. He glanced at it, looked over at me, and nodded. I immediately noticed that his attention went back to the film. I was irritated, I wanted to know what was upsetting him. I grabbed for his hand to show that whatever it was, I was here for him but he cringed from my hand. My eyes grew wide and I was scared. I was terrified, because that moment I realized that what was wrong, was about me. What had I done? He was fine with me a couple periods before. Nothing had happened before that, that I knew of anyway. He seemed the same Edward at lunch, not eating from his full tray of food.

The class seemed to go on forever, and the only reason for this was my constant anticipation for it to end. The bell rang finally, and I turned my stare to him. He stood up, not looking at me. This is getting out of hand. I felt like screaming, something to make him notice how this was affecting me. All I could do was watch as he walked away from me, like he had done the first time I met him. This was killing me, makes me feel like jumping off a cliff. I laughed a little, alright that wasn't funny. All I knew was that Edward was upset, didn't want to come in contact with me, and wasn't going to tell what it was anytime soon. This day was turning into one of the worst.

7th period was over before I knew it, and I was thankful for that. I walked to my truck and noticed that his volvo was nowhere to be found, and neither was he. I was becoming more than I have ever been. What did I do? If I didn't recieve answers soon, I was probably going to go more insane than I already was becoming. I opened the door to my truck and got in. I slammed the door shut hard, making some paint chip off. Ehh, why am I taking it out on my poor truck? I started the engine, and began my unbearable journey home.

As I came home, I noticed that Charlie was home, which was quite unusual. I stepped into the house and found that Charlie was sitting in his chair, slumping down. He noticed me walk in and immediately jumped up. He looked unhappy and anxious. "Bells, sit down." I didn't like this, I didn't like this at all. I did as I was told. "What's going on Char-dad?" I asked, scared. "Bella, I don't know how to say this.." He started and I looked at him frantically. "Dad, your starting this like someone died." I joked half-heartedly. He didn't look at me. Something was defintely wrong. "Bella, Edward..." I interrupted him automatically, "Edward what? Dad!" I screeched, I could feel tears falling. "Dear, Edward and his family were in a car accident..." He exclaimed, not wanting to look me in the eyes. I could breathe, everything in the room was getting blurry. "What are you saying dad? DAD!" "Bella, they didn't make it..." He whispered, before holding me. "Dad, that can't be. That can't be... That's not possible." I whispered to no one in particular. "They found edward's volvo in a ditch, it was on fire. There was no way they survived." Charlie explained to me, telling me the story. There was no possible way vampires died in a car accident. It was a lie. Edward would never die, neither Alice, nor any of the others. I let go of my father and jumped into my truck. Charlie ran out of the house, trying to stop me but I was already halfway down the road not paying much attention to anything.

I reached Edward's home and found no cars of theirs anywhere. The place seemed abandon, and it was. Edward had left, his whole family had left. They were gone. I didn't get a goodbye, didn't get an explanation, nothing. This is what was bothering Edward, he was leaving and he didn't know how to explain it to me. I opened the door to their home. Everything was gone, not a single thing left, except for the piano. Why was the piano still here? I was too upset to even press on that matter. I walked up to Edward's room and stared in the room. I could see flashes of us together. The day I met his wonderful family, and other times. He was gone, the love of my very existence was no longer around, and I was left alone in the world without a single reason. For all I knew, they had left because of me. I walked downstairs and looked at the piano, sitting down to it. I began playing what little piece I knew of my lullaby.

My eyes became clouded with tears and my head fell to the piano keys, as I began crying uncontrollably on it.

My life was never going to be the way I wanted it anymore, not with Edward no longer there. How on earth could I possibly live anymore without him there to keep me alive? I cried myself to sleep in his home, hoping no one would find me unless it was him coming back to me.

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First chapter of an ongoing story.

Review.

-AndreaShea.


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